How I got this way
Growing up with an Alcoholic for a father and a mother who was abused and broken didn’t make my childhood easy. I’ve never dealt with stress very well, however I was never “big” until after the birth of my second child. When I got pregnant with my daughter I weighed 132lbs. Then after I gave birth I weighed 194.
About 6 months after she was born my spouse and I had some major issues arrise. I honestly didn’t think we’d last through it. I went into a pretty deep depression and I turned to food. I wasn’t active. I stayed home all the time just taking care of my kids.
I think that part of my life carried on for about 10 years. I couldn’t seem to shake the depression and all my insecurities.
Problem is once I started living again I couldn’t figure out how to remove food from my life. When i’m stressed I want to eat. When Al or the kids frustrate me I want to eat. Heck I want to eat even when i’m bored. Thing is though i’m not a “big eater”. I don’t eat a lot of food. The problem is I eat the wrong foods when I do eat.
I need to spend this year finding new things to do with my time. I need to eat more real meals and lay off the junk. I need to speak up more. Stop stuffing away my feelings. Just deal with them head on.
This year its going to be about being good to me. Taking care of me. My kids are old enough to take care of themselves for the most part. It’s time to focus on the person I’ll be living with the rest of my life. Me!
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Hoorah for you April!! I believe we all need to do this for ourselves and quit being on the back burner helping everyone around us. I love you girl and I know togther we can do this.
A new year and a new you. Glad to see that you are taking the time to focus on you. You deserve it! Good luck in reaching all of your goals in 2008.
You are right. It is time to take care of yourself. SOunds like you’ve had a hard road but you made it through and now you can take care of you!
Amen sister bear!! I love that you have come to realize the importance of taking care of yourself first and foremost. I truly believe that you cannot give the best of yourself as a parent, spouse and friend, as a child if you are not taking care of YOU. I believe that being good to yourself first will make you a better person, the best person to the ones you love. Women get trapped in thinking/feeling that taking care of number one is selfish, I think it’s GIVING and CARING to take care of you first, so you can take better care of your loved ones. Heck, it’s common sense….on an airplane, what does the flight attendant instruct you? If the pressure of the plane drops, put your oxigen mask FIRST and then assist OTHERS. ‘Cause really, if you run out of oxygen, how are you to help others, huh?
I do the same thing. I eat because I cant find any other release. I am going to take your advice and take better care of me & learn to speak up instead of doing the wrong things.
April
I could relate on so many levels even though I’m single…I use food as my everything and being consistent in a healthy approach has always been a challenge. Good for you for these realizations..keep going!! :.)